Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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