I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so let's talk penis.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
