its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
