Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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