There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
