It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
