She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
