Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
