Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
