Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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