Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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