I'm laying in your front yard are you home
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
