i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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