i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
