I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
