ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
