OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
