It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
There r osticjed everywhere
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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