Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize