Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
