Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
