'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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