do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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