Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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