only you would photoshop your dick
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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