Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This girl is more easily done than said...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Redeem this text for a blowjob
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
