i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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