New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
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my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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