Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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