Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
