my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
