I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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