haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize