Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
