My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
