Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
that is very illegal...i love you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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