So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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