she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
