did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Randomize
