You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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