I feel great
I just peed on a car
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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