we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
