We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We're too hungover to prance.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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