Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
