You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
we should paint friendship bongs
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
