Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my phone needs a breathalizer
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
