you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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