Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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