She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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