so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
