I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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