I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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