so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
