I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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