watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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