It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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