i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
