Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
