Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
