I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize