is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
