I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize