you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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