I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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