We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
