Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize