I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
