Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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