When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
