I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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