your parents love me but you hate me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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