I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
